1 NO SLIP

2 NO BOUNCE

3 ALL POLARIZED

4 ALL SPEED

5 FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP

IT'S A PLEASURE TO WELCOME YOU ABOARD

Orange you glad you found these Mach G sunglasses?! They're aviator frames. But that doesn't qualify YOU to fly the plane!!! This is Colby, your Cheesy Flight Attendant. Get it? Colby Jack?!?! That was a thinker. Psst! Everybody on staff knows you like to get high. In the air. By booking a plane ticket!!! These sunnies won't slip or bounce while we crash into a mountain. Kidding, kidding! Laugh a little, will ya?!?! Life is short. Really short, considering how drunk the pilot is right now. J/K! J/K! Geez!!!!